“Is this all right? Am I going to be OK?”
No, these were not the questions a patient asked about a medical diagnosis. These were questions a student asked about his practise for an assessment.
Conor asked these questions constantly. He worried enough to challenge anyone who tried to reassure him.
The worrying did not seem to fit Conor’s life: he was a successful student and athlete. But something about the pressure he felt from assessments sent his worry engine into overdrive.
It was difficult to persuade Conor to think or feel differently because, to him, the process did not matter—only the outcome mattered. And his desire for a great outcome fueled his worry.
Perhaps it was fortunate that he fell well short of his goal the first time he took his assessment. That shortfall opened him up to the possibility that he needed a different approach.
So, he let me show him how to let go of the worry. To let the worry go, Conor needed to see that “worry” was not the same thing as the outcome he wanted. He needed to see that “worry” was only one way of responding to the possibility of not getting his outcome, and that he could choose other ways.
When he let go of the worry, Conor was able to simply play his game. And then, as happens so often, he was also able to attain his desired outcome.
